Fixing Yourself
You wake up every day and ask the question of whether you’re doing your life’s work, whether you’re stuck, whether you’re happy, sad, somewhere in between, or worse whether you feel nothing. You see nothing is tricky, you can’t quite figure it out why you feel that way, what is bugging you but you know that something is wrong. It’s very easy to get stuck in the limbo of nothingness… of apathy. You’ve been through enough cycles of this to know that all it takes is a tumble in the wrong direction to fall into that. One moment you’re normal, the next… your world is filled with nothing but shadow, which is looming over the horizon.
You act normal, talk normal, hangout with people as usual, smile, laugh. They don’t know that sometimes it’s not you, it’s just a mask. Deep inside, you’re trying so hard to runaway from the shadow, to not fall into it. You’re desperately running towards the light, but the more you run, the further away it seems to be from you. This is the worst. This limbo is the worst.
So… what you ought to do, to not fall into it ?
Strip back. Strip everything back, strip everyone back. The real ones stay anyways. Be still, be singular in your focus. This is your meditation retreat. This is how you “fix” yourself.